We should all be more in awe of ourselves
This isn't arrogance, it's protest.
Welcome to The Art of Figuring Shit Out; musings on identity, asking why sometimes we can, but often can’t make sense of the moments that make us who we are, define the businesses we build, and shape the lives we cultivate.
It was one of those blissful October afternoons.
The sky wore that specific shade of cornflower blue it reserves especially for that time of year. Beyond the eclectic mix of buildings that housed creativity, raw, untethered thinking and potential, I sensed the sun dancing its way across the Thames.
I, had momentarily been rendered speechless. Not by the gloriousness of the day, but by what she’d said.
We’d come to the end of a four week programme I’d taught on brand storytelling at Ravensbourne University’s Start Up Lab and in turn, the students were sharing the biggest shifts they’d experienced.
Clarity on their message, connection to their story, conviction in the beliefs that drive their businesses were common themes. Then this…
“I feel in awe of my future self”
I was stunned.
Awe has long been a personal value of mine; I actively seek it, live life in pursuit of it. When my mental health collapsed, it was the unexpected, everyday micro-moments of awe that pieced me back together. But I’d always considered it external to me.
To her, the shift was in how she saw herself internally. This was so much more than strategy; we’d entered the realm of identity.
Now I’m a brand sense maker. My approach is high-touch, highly attuned thought partnership; identity, not just strategy, is very much the core of the work I do (I call it Identity Alchemy), but I’d never before considered the intersection of identity and awe, either through the lens of my own story, or as a necessary factor in the work I do with clients.
In the weeks that passed, I found myself returning to two questions:
Are awe and identity intertwined?
Is it possible, in the same way I seek it in the world around me, to cultivate a sense of awe in ourselves?
What is Awe?
In his book Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life, Dacher Keltner, renowned psychologist, professor at UC Berkeley and leading voice on Awe defines it as “the emotion we experience when we encounter vast mysteries that we don't understand”.
We might assume this refers to grandiose spectacles such as the northern lights, the Starlings murmuration in the evening sky, or watching the sunrise.
But Keltner reassures that if we seek it, we can experience moments of awe every day; the geometric perfection of a spiders web glistening in the morning dew, a single flower growing through a crack in the concrete, a piece of music.
We see it in other people too; witnessing the strength of the human spirit, marvelling at acts of resilience, achievement, creativity or even the ripple effect of single act of kindness.
The impact of Awe on us mentally, physiologically and spiritually is well documented:
Awe reduces stress, anxiety and improves your mood, leading to greater life satisfaction. It shifts attention away from whatever shit we have going on, offering instead perspective and meaning.
Awe encourages cognitive expansion, opening our minds to new ideas and experiences, enhancing creativity and generally fostering a greater appreciation for the complexities of life - huge for those of us with altogether more multifaceted minds.
Awe triggers a "Reset" in the Nervous System, shifting us into a parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) state, slowing the heart rate and relaxing the body, whilst also…
Offering up a hit of endorphins & dopamine, cultivating feelings of euphoria, joy, and motivation. Physiologically, experiencing awe can both calm and energize.
Awe bolsters the body's defence system; positive emotions like awe have also been linked with lower levels of pro-inflammatory cytokines, proteins that signal the immune system to work harder.
Awe quietens the ego enhancing social connection and behaviour, such as increased empathy, compassion and collaboration, by fostering a collective sense of identity (there’s that word again).
Spiritually, awe can elicit a sense of transcendence, a deeper, divine connection to the vast energy of the earth and universe around us, akin to the ‘Overview Effect’ experienced by astronauts in space.
Awe expands our perception of time; time slows down, evoking a sense of abundance and presence.
Awe, then, has the power to intrinsically expand the mind, calm the body, and uplift the soul.
Yet, the narratives around awe still suggest that the experiences that trigger it as an emotional response, are external to us.
I’m not so sure.
Could it be that we’ve just been conditioned not to see the wonder that is within?
The story of my student might suggest so.
Religion preaches that in order to save our souls, we must worship a fictional (male) figure, external to us.
Patriarchy, racism, capitalism with their set of narrowly defined expectations override our innate sense of self, dull our individuality - society rewards us, especially women, for being one thing, playing one role.
And let’s not forget their good friends imposter syndrome and self-doubt who guard the doors like bouncers, ready to rough us up with taunts of “who do you think you are?”, “no one wants to see that” and “that’s not possible for you”, for daring to consider that we might like to bring more of ourselves to the party.
As women, especially multifaceted women with many strings to our bow, it’s no wonder we minimise our brilliance, to fit in. Or worse, that we fail to even see it.
Cognitive alchemy
A definitive function of awe is that it necessitates Cognitive Accommodation. Simply put - when we experience awe, what we encounter exceeds our existing mental structures, we don’t have the cognitive range to process it.
This prompts us to question, shift or expand our understanding of the world, in order to make sense of this new experience.
In fact, it’s been proposed that experiencing awe, and the subsequent cognitive accommodation required awakens a sense of self-transcendence, of reaching beyond one’s perceived self-boundary. And that that this in turn initiates pursuit of the authentic self.
As Keltner and Haidt wrote in Approaching Awe, a Moral, Spiritual, and Aesthetic Emotion:
“Awe-inducing events may be one of the fastest and most powerful methods of personal change and growth.”
To me, this is where it gets interesting, it feels like alchemy at play.
Awe and identity it would seem are, then, intertwined.
But what of my second question; is it possible to cultivate a sense of awe in ourselves? Or is it singularly an other-oriented emotion?
Cultivating awe.
Studies have shown that some personality types are more likely to experience awe, for example being open to new experiences, extraversion, tolerance for ambiguity, alongside an appreciation of beauty, gratitude, spirituality, creativity, and love of learning.
It’s not then so much of a stretch to suggest that being intentional about incorporating certain practices into our daily lives, such as gratitude, creative pursuits, nature walks etc. may increase our predisposition to experiencing awe.
We also know that there are many instances in which we feel in awe of other people, so it must also be true that there will be occasions when we portray awe-inducing characteristics witnessed and experienced by those around us.
What if, we were to turn that lens inwards and notice the times we vastly surpass our own expectations, tap into capabilities we didn’t fully acknowledge we had, or even wonder at our own potential?
On a more tangible level this could look like:
Big breakthroughs - accomplishing something we once thought impossible, like running a marathon, penning a bestseller, or overcoming a deeply rooted fear.
Witnessing our own creativity or intelligence. The “did I really just do that?” moments like solving a complex problem, writing, speaking on or creating something profound.
Seeing our impact on others; kindness, leadership, influence and the realisation that our impact ripples out into the world.
Surviving and thriving through hardship; the strength of the human spirit, especially our own, can be breathtaking when we take the time to acknowledge it.
The vastness of our own potential and infinite nature of possibility within ourselves; that we’re capable of complete transformation.
There’s not yet much research to validate this, but could a combination of the two; actively adopting practices that correlate with an increased likeliness to experience awe and engaging in behaviours that invite us to bear witness to our own brilliance, serve as catalysts in eliciting a sense of awe in ourselves?
Awe, Identity and…? The third piece of the puzzle.
Unlike experiences external to us that evoke a sense of awe where often no words are needed, when it comes to ourselves if we can't articulate what is it is within us that evokes the same sense of awe, then we're far less likely to believe it, let alone voice it.
But, when we intentionally tap into and give words to the depths of our own creativity, intelligence and wisdom it has the potential to be transformative.
However.
As Alaine de Bottom so eloquently says in his book The School of Life, An Emotional Education:
“One of our greatest challenges is to understand the peculiar content of our own minds… we are frequently the very last people to know what is at work within us”
The reality is there are just too many competing, chaotic ideas, thoughts, musings that flit, dart and ricochet across our minds. I have a name for this too - I call it Identity Chaos.
And while we may be able to grasp hold of a few tentative insights, connect the occasional dot, too often the golden threads, the accomplishments or characteristics we most need to acknowledge, evade our attention.
This is the where I believe the third, vital, piece of the puzzle comes in to play.
Someone else.
A friend, mentor, partner - a mirror to shine a light on our brilliance, to reflect back to us what they see, and give words to the things we’re not yet brave enough to own.
This is the catalyst - the cognitive expansion - the moment where we reach beyond our perceived self-boundary, where possibilities expand, change begins.
It’s the shift that enabled my student to go from fledging founder of a hair care brand to envisioning herself as a leading voice reshaping outdated beauty narratives and beckoning in a new era of self-acceptance.
And it matters so much that this shift happens.
Because yours, ours are the voices that are challenging perceptions, questioning why the-things-have-always-been-done-this-way, taking a stand against outdated, damaging, approaches, policies and perspectives and instead offering up kinder, fairer, regenerative ideas that serve people, planet and profit.
A life lived in pursuit of awe of oneself then is not arrogance, far from it; it’s an act of protest.
Beautiful 😍
Your words always resonate Rebecca ♥️