Who are you, when you're in fancy dress?
And what can she teach you?
Last week my daughter and I went to a Halloween party.
Hours had been spent agonising over her costume; would she be a Witch, a Zombie Princess, something else entirely? She settled on a Witch, and we were both pretty happy with the finished look.
Then I learned the grownups were dressing up too.
I LOVE dressing up. The sheer joy of planning your outfits with friends, the manic raiding of wardrobes and charity shops, the creative process of piecing it all together. Then the unashamed freedom and FUN of being in character!
Safe to say I’ve always believed that when it comes to fancy dress you should go hard or go home. But this was my first party in our new town. I wondered if the other parents would share my approach.
For a moment, I waivered. Perhaps I should play it safe; more of a nod to all Hallows Eve than full costume…
But then, thought fuck it. This is who I am and what I do.
Maybe, I want to stand out? Or at the very least, show up as the fullest expression of me. Clothing, of course, is a declaration of identity in itself. And as legendary costume designer Edith Head said, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”.
“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”
As the party was a mere 24 hours away, whatever ensemble I chose would have to be sourced from within my own wardrobe. Luckily, it’s pretty eclectic; awash with vintage pieces, prints and scarfs intentionally, if not a little chaotically curated.
It wasn’t long before the costume revealed itself, I would go as a Fortune Teller; high in originality, no face paint required and easily dress-downable if, on arrival, I deemed myself inappropriately overdressed.
I wasn’t.
Walking into the party reaffirmed what I already knew; these people were my people.
There were excellent witches, mystic professors, skeletons. My favourite was a third eye intricately painted atop a forehead. Glancing around the room, a prosecco or two down, I pondered…
What do our costumes, reveal about us?
The Psychology of dress is well documented.
The clothes we wear do more than protect or shield our bodies, they tell the world who we are and how we want to be perceived, revealing the secrets of your personality, values, and beliefs.
Our outfits impact how we feel about ourselves, too.
Enclothed Cognition, a concept examined in this study, is defined as “the systematic influence that clothes have on the wearer’s psychological processes”. Through this lens then our attire doesn’t only speak about us, but also, to us.
Clinical Psychologist Dr. Baumgartner and author of You Are What You Wear: What Your Clothes Reveal About You, expanded on this to say that “when you dress in a certain way, it helps shift your internal self."
Anecdotally, we all know this to be true; how often have you chosen an outfit that makes you feel confident ahead of a big meeting, or something fun for a party (even if you’re not in that moment feeling either)?
The clothes you choose then, send a direct message to your sub-conscious, an invitation if you will to show up in a certain way.
So, how does this relate to fancy dress?
Perhaps unsurprisingly there’s little academic research, that I could find, on the matter. The way I see it, there are two core motivations, both rooted in identity, that might inspire us to dress up; expression of self and/or affiliation to a group.
The latter, doesn’t really interest me (in the context of this essay). Although I like the notion of costumes as a communication tool; they convey something about you to others and are expected to elicit a response.
But the former? This is where things get juicy!
When we’re required to adhere to a dress code, our clothes, and by extension demeaner are influenced by externally determined factors. Think formal attire in corporate environments; by default, we’ll behave ‘professionally’.
Looking through an individual lens, I wonder if the opposite is true of fancy dress, rather than conforming to norms, we feel a sense of liberation, a chance to reveal a hidden part of ourselves? Show a little ‘mental’ ankle, if you will.
Psychotherapist Joyce Marter posed a similar question in an article entitled “Your Halloween costume may bring out your shadow side”. Although the original piece appears to have been archived, the snippets I’ve read are compelling.
Rooted in Jungian theory, the idea suggests that costume choices often express hidden desires or parts of ourselves that we don’t show day to day, or perhaps don’t yet feel confident to.
These characteristics are not necessarily negative, instead, Marter suggests they “contain positive aspects of self which we have not been free to embody.”
It reminded me of feedback I often get from clients; “She has this knack of knowing what you want to say, before you feel brave enough to choose the words”. It seems there are synergies in the process of making sense of your beliefs and perspectives, and expressing those hidden parts of you.
Fancy dress then is an exercise in Sense Making. It’s identity affirming.
Looking back at the Halloween costumes which stood out to me, I believe this is true of the guests at the party.
The third eye belonged to an intelligent, interesting and interested, insightful human.
A Witch’s understated yet fierce silhouette portrayed an inner strength I’m not sure even she would recognise, but I could.
As for me?
Did my costume reaffirm the new identity I find myself stepping into, one which embraces and centres my soft skills, my intuitive approach, my wisdom? To quote Edith Read, again, “You can have anything you want in life, if you dress for it.”
Well, by definition, a Fortune Teller practices various methods to intuit or interpret insights about a person’s future, personality, or life situation.
And while I don’t pretend to be able to predict the future, the rest sounds like Sense Making to me.
If you’ve read this far, thank you!
I would love to hear from you… did you dress up at Halloween? And if so, what did your costume reveal? Drop me a reply, I read and respond to every one x
Love this essay Rebecca. I’m fascinated by what we wear and the impact it has. Its significance and importance. I have been looking to read more so will take a look at the book you mention.